DEVELOPING HUNDERED RELATIONSHIPS IN A YEAR

IS NOT A GAIN

BUT DEVELOPING ONE RELATIONSHIP FOR HUNDERED YEARS

THATS AN ACHIEVEMENT


GOOD MORNING

HAVE A NICE DAY.

This thought matches with what Den said in his topic ,very true though , :)

To build even one relationship requires great care and greater sacrifice. As Mike my brother whom I have cared for for nine years nears death..As we plan and begin prepaying for his funeral arrangements I grapple with issues both practical and ephemeral. I consider what life will be without him. I wonder about my own life now half spent How have I lived it? What IS the real result of my choices? Living in in rural issolation I wonder how important is my breath? No I am not talking of suicide not at all. But I am grappling with issues that peplex all thinking humans. How do love Mike while have him? How do I also balence the gut wrenching self needs against the requirements of leading a brother to the doorway of death of which neither of us have any idea. what is the scope of life? What is the end of death. Is death an end? I am sad... I am angry..NO I am enraged! What is this wastfulness of death?! One hundred k'billion human bones lie burried and mostly forgotten in graves and battle fields and for what?! I wake and sleep every moment of life with our very private guest: Death, the End lives and breaths in my soul and in my home. Like a rat that lives freely in my house, un-welcomed but there flaunting, harassing unspoken of but there. Like Kafka's "cockroach man" we close the door and try to ignore Him. But he is there: Waiting for the next time Mike stops breathing or his heart rate dips again in the night. I know this one day i will wake up or I will go to check on him and he will be no more. I will cry, I will oversee the funeral, I will ache and ultimately I will live. I wonder though when my time arrives who will be there for me?

All those who love you and have loved you.You will always be there in my memory and thus alive.I held my brother as he struggled for his last breaths and yes,I was furious.I lost my mom this year and rage and sadness overcame me again.To the point of self destructive behavior.I could accept my mom going more than I could my big bro who left two young daughters.I have my families photos on my walls and I can now enjoy them.Even talk to them and ask for help and advice.
I hope peace and much strength for you my friend.

Dan I lov u and will always be there for you.

Dan, I am very sorry what you are going through. And it's ok you feel angry, frustrated, sad, all at the same time. I remember I did go through very similar feelings last year when my mom's brother died and later this year her best friend. You are incredible person, very strong with great heart. Not everyone could do what you've been doing for those years.
Terry said it very right. We live in the hearts of those who love us. My grandma, though she died 18 years ago is still in my thoughts. I still visualize her face and remember the moments we shared. I still see my uncle many times before I go to sleep. And as long they are in my mind and mind of others they'll never be forgotten.

Wishing you strength dear

good thought

Dan, be sure we all love you dear & always we'll be by your side,am sorry for what you are passing through,
I can hear the sad shout in your heart,barer in mind there is always God's Mercy, am not lecturing you , but we are all your family, this is very difficult I know,but still you are strong enough , Speechless I am ,:( what can I say more than Long living to you my friend, hope there will be a miracle to save your brother:)

Gan, I am almost in same position as you, but not as close as you and your brother, but a friend that has about 2 months still to live.
He has ALS, it will end with him not being able to take any breath. Muscle by muscle dies.
Some days he talks about suicide, he refuse another day of hell.
Some days he is just the same playful friend.
He is married and have two sons.
It´s a hell knowing what will come, and we can´t do anything to stop it.
I have felt grief having him in mind, since last year when he got the test-results.
We can only do one thing; try to live life like it was our last day.
tell people we love, that we love them.
Meet old friends you almost have forgotten.
Call up old school mates, well everything in mind.
God bless you and your brother Dan.
Love & Light

=== Original Message ===

To build even one relationship requires great care and greater sacrifice. As Mike my brother whom I have cared for for nine years nears death..As we plan and begin prepaying for his funeral arrangements I grapple with issues both practical and ephemeral. I consider what life will be without him. I wonder about my own life now half spent How have I lived it? What IS the real result of my choices? Living in in rural issolation I wonder how important is my breath? No I am not talking of suicide not at all. But I am grappling with issues that peplex all thinking humans. How do love Mike while have him? How do I also balence the gut wrenching self needs against the requirements of leading a brother to the doorway of death of which neither of us have any idea. what is the scope of life? What is the end of death. Is death an end? I am sad... I am angry..NO I am enraged! What is this wastfulness of death?! One hundred k'billion human bones lie burried and mostly forgotten in graves and battle fields and for what?! I wake and sleep every moment of life with our very private guest: Death, the End lives and breaths in my soul and in my home. Like a rat that lives freely in my house, un-welcomed but there flaunting, harassing unspoken of but there. Like Kafka's "cockroach man" we close the door and try to ignore Him. But he is there: Waiting for the next time Mike stops breathing or his heart rate dips again in the night. I know this one day i will wake up or I will go to check on him and he will be no more. I will cry, I will oversee the funeral, I will ache and ultimately I will live. I wonder though when my time arrives who will be there for me?

I like that, nice thought